Networking — love it or hate it, you cannot force it

A networking event called the ‘Café Numérique Liège’ covered by Jeremy Jamar — https://www.instagram.com/devnco_pics/

Your network is your net worth. I heard this sentence so many times, and believe it. But, as an introvert, it can be… tricky?

You do you best to get out there, meet your potential clients, your peers, understand their struggles. You actively provide value and can feel great. But it can also turn sour…

Hate it…

It was late February. I saw a post on a LinkedIn group about an online networking event for digital nomads. I’m a digital nomad and need some practice in this ‘networking’ thing. So, why not? I subscribed.

A few days later, I showed up on Zoom. People are welcoming, we introduce each other, chit chat. But, there are no digital nomads… Well, that’s fine, people are nice. And I’m here for the networking anyway.

We break into rooms and chat some more. But then, some people just talk about what they do, like a pitch, and they don’t really listen to what others are saying. Finally, in the main room, the hosts remind everyone how we can recommend each other and grow our business.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It is a good thing to recommend someone you know who works well. You recommend them for the skills you know they have. Recommending someone you just met because you were told to? Hu hu, none of that here.

And it just felt that was what that whole event was about. Pitching your business and recommending people you don’t know. I was disappointed.

But networking events aren’t always like that…

… or love it,…

I’m an introvert and, when I started working, I forced myself to go to networking events. I was so uncomfortable, I merged with the walls and left as soon as I spoke to 3 different people. That was the goal, only 3, and then I could go home.

I went back, again and again.

There, I met great people. They were hanging around the bar, listening to the speakers, and mostly chatting. I ended up with them. It was great to meet regularly people who were doing work like yours.

I would also talk to non-regulars. And that’s how I got most of my jobs. You talk to one person, then another, then… it happens they know someone who might need what you offer. It doesn’t always lead to work but, sometimes, it does.

In the end, we’re all here to connect, to share, to be human.

… it’s what we make of it.

We cannot force it. We can only show up and try.

See other participants as who they are, humans. Have a drink. Ask their name, how they are, what they do. Be curious. Ask questions. Be bad at it. You’ll get good over time. Because that’s how humans are.

You cannot know in advance if the event you’re going to will be good. Try anyway. Show up. In the worst case, you don’t have to stay. Walk away.

A nice place, some speakers, a bar, lot of chatting. That’s my type of networking event.

There, I meet my peers and potential clients. I understand what they:

• care about,
• need,
• think they need,
• and struggle with.

All that information, you can use it in your other marketing and sales activities. For example, you can write a blog post or a DM on LinkedIn about those topics.

But this is about me. What about you?

Stop a moment.

Look inside.

What events did you go to and didn’t like?

What events did you go to and liked?

What made them different?

And, what do you want more of?